Feeling a lil blah today.....totally not caring......I ate a beef hamburger for the first time in years(been eating turkey burgers) and I can say that it is adversely affecting my body and my mood. I'm on detox mode again after that. I thought it would be good to switch it up, but It's got my gut feeling heavy, my attitude like fuck everybody and it's got me stuck like I just smoked a blunt. Maybe all that with a feeling of....hhmmmmm, best way to describe it is hmmmm dunno, boredom perhaps.....I been on intense paper chase for the last few months.......I fell back off twitter, been creating with the fam, have a special gem of a person holding down the bed and am relatively healthy....MOOD SWINGS, yeah, Idunno.....aint been piffing and I know that chemical withdrawl, aint been sipping but don't miss it. Maybe just a time to be reflective......ahhhh there it is. Time to totally fall back off the web, skip the bullshit people are talking about and read a few books and come up with some additional hustles. I'm definitely in a better place than I was last year, but everybody go thru some form of nuerotic depression even when everything is going good. I'm blessed, not depressed just really feeling like "who cares"
Flash Forward Re emerging is always a great blessing. The greatest people in the world have all at 1 time faced great adversity. The biggest difference between them and everyone else is that they took the opportunity to pick themselves up off of the ground after they fell. They took things in stride no matter how hard they stumbled. They took that stumble and made it into a flip.......Fall back Move forward. The whole premise to being a winner and great champion in everything you do is to move like one in all instances.....There are historically some defeats that are actually greater than victories. Here inside the depths of the circle, there has been some deep quality control going on. I'm one who strongly feels that when you get that instinct and vibe to go a different way, then you should heed it. I often get these vibes when I feel like the writing is on the wall. I like to move freely and to transition. As a youth I used to hate change. That inevitable change.......That shit had me going to different schools, going to different states and never being comfortable. I moved all throughout the tri state as a youth and went to various different schools(only got kicked out of 1 FTW) and experienced a lot of different cultures. At the time it felt like I would never settle, never meet 1 REAL chick and never have true PEOPLES.....
The gem was that little did I know, that all of the moving around I was doing was grooming me to be able to adapt and to also renew myself. I always had to stay sharp. I also learned that no matter what and no matter where, 1 rule never changed and that was your respect has to be earned from day one. That REAL Respect, not that sociable,network,political,transparent,cordial respect. It's times I look back at all of that shit and see that this game is basic. I also know that when I start feeling like I'm comfortable, I know that I can do MORE. Once you start getting to that point, you know it's on. Rest your brain, that's necessary too. I been re evaluating and working so hard that I feel like I'm back on grind mode........time to update again. Some folk are cool with complacency and that's good. Change is good as well tho. Continue Evolving.
Yup, its been a hell of a weekend so far. Went to Arts Beats and Lyrics, my homie Dubelyoos' jump off Friday night hosted by Gentleman Jack Daniels.....got my real grown man on. Not really tilted but a nice slush. Wifey on the other hand got towed down. Had a blast man, saw some good art and ended up being on 1. Only thing is that I come to the realization that we aint real compatible with folks like that. Our viewpoints are a lil worldly so it's hard to feign interest in topical bullshit. Just noting it, but we realized that when we rolls out it aint easy to gel, maybe it comes from a lack of faith and trust in folk, dunno.
Yesterday was a big red X day cuz I aint do too much, rolled out the crib mid-late afternoon and ran into Smiff and Wessun and chopped it up wit them for a few. Tehy was hanging out by Vinnie's Styles and getting ready to do a show later that night. I ain't make it but I have seen these cats numerous times over the years, they get busy...plus they have my No.1 Tree burning anthem album Dah Shinin".
Went home from running around and walk in to the smell of home cooked food and beef on the internets. Krazy....tho I had a feeling in the gut that something would go down. I think Buddens is aiight and have always felt that way. Never was above avg. to me personally, but he has some joints. The problem lies in the slick talk. It doesnt matter what you say in the comfort of your club house around your peeps or how hard u wanna make yourself out to be online, when real street dudes get involved all that shit goes out the window. Now I know the beef was squashed, but I also noticed that son was still talking slick after the fact about Deck and Rae and still saying that he had a subliminal diss to Mef on the slaughthouse album. My thing is this: why keep running your jibs if the beef is over? why publicize that u may have taken shots(subliminal at that)? why even put that energy out there? I know why, to save face for having apologized for some some shit that shouldn't have even gone there. Now the real embarrassment comes, because I was watching the aftermath of what happened and it was some shaking, a little crying, a little bit of wound licking and a whole lot of whining and dry snitching. Now this is what i be talking about being Live in this internet era. If you think you are Live, let the people tell it like they did back in the day thru word of mouth, not you "pretending" to be a live dude for youtube. The thing is that when cards get pulled there is no way around it. Yes, the internet soldier die hards is gonna say it was pussy for Rae to go over there with multiple people, but at the end of the day, if you rolling with 4 cats that you came with and been rolling with all day and you find out where son is to talk to him, it aint pussy for them to roll with you, because you could be in the room with 30 people and he rolls in with 4 to confront you. People all have their biases and will spin it any kind of way to defend an artist they have invested a gig f space to on their computer and have defended in the multiple beefs. I understand. The L came from the horses own mouth for behaving a lil tender in front of the cam for an hour after the event occurred.
Yeah!!!! vibing off the Power of activity. Been getting my run on.......summertime out at the park. Yeah, getting back in shape...terrorizing peoples grills and heavy chilling. Soaking up this summer sun. My vibe is real Alpha Omeg.....not to be confused with Alphamega, tho I don't know dude personally, but definitely enjoyed the energy he was bringing to the table....Anywhoo, hope y'all been lamping and living.....-breathe-
Yeah, tho I kinda fell back from the internets and putting my brainwaves towards this shit, I've been in the lab cooking up a few different souflees....dig it. My head is to the grindstone and I'm a million miles away from where I was even a few months ago. I know if you been following then you know I been positive most of the time with this blog, tho every Peak comes with valleys, I can honestly say that I'm growing pretty well. I'll be posting a lot more good shit and get back in the swing of things........heres a lil interview I did recently wit LacedOut, a lifestyle and flavor blog/magazine. Just some shit off the chest.......it feels good to vent....lolz....
A lifelong traveler, purveyor of all things flavorful,an open mind,good friend,lover and arch nemesis who has never conformed to fit in with the masses. I feel more comfortable away from the sheep. A true anti-social party animal who is probably the most cultured ignoramus you know.